I listen to music and it takes me back .. way back into a life I once had. I get sad thinking of some connections I have lost in the process but I guess things happen for a reason. Every connection has made me what I am today in some ways ... some i've learned from and others I still take on in my day to day life ... There is a strong connection that never left in the last 10 years .. this connection will never be able to fade away it's the reason i believe in me .. why I don't give up when things seem hard ... Ever have that ?
I've been abit scared of certain things happening to me lately. Situations where people speak to me and i'm looking at them and hearing them but it's like I feel like i'm in a dream and they aren't there and i just don't answer. I've forgotten things that I was sure .. no no positive I had not forgotten at home only to get home and have it be on the kitchen counter ... People have told me I have to much on my plate but I don't feel overwhelmed ... i'm scared of what it's doing though because i'm no unaware when it does happen and it's almost embarassing ... I want to go get checked but im not sure what they would say. I don't feel sick but it's scary of how blank I become at times ... almost not there like I leave my body ...
There seems to be some merit to the theory that you're taking on too many things. You may not feel overwhelmed. You should maybe take a second to ask yourself if that's because you're not overwhelmed or you've grown accustomed to the feeling?
ReplyDeleteI've had those moments. I completely forgot something important as though I've never been told. Its the kind of thing I would never forget and or ever let out of mind till its done. But just like that.. poof.. It's gone. Most often the case is not that I lost it, but I never was able to give my full attention to pick it up in the first place. I nod, I say "yeah" because I am in the middle of clearing something else and I am too strong and proud to ever say, "I can't right now.. It's too much". So instead, I say yeah and nod.. and comfort myself with a little side note that says "I'll manage or figure it out".
Sometimes it's only a matter of taking the second to actually think about the request that i am agreeing to in order for it to register. Anytime you feel overwhelmed and tell yourself, "we'll manage" .. ask yourself this question. Is it important that things are done right? or done right away? and take that extra second to stop the world and answer in the purest most relaxed mood you can muster. Sooner or later, something has to come off your plate or you'll need a lot more time to yourself to recuperate because you're that crazy woman that showed up to work wearing mismatched shoes. -10 points if you just looked down to check . ;)
-Stewy
Drugs can be very destructive for years...
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